Countdown

Appointment went well today. Phenomenal, even. The doctor's first words were, "Wow, there's lots of eggs in there!". WHEWWW! She said by the time of retrieval there will be 18 eggs–far more than we expected after the first ultrasound, months ago.

J is responding so well to the stims that the retrieval has been moved up from midweek next week, to this Sunday! As in four days from now! And my transfer will be five days after that! All I'm hoping for is a few good embabies. One to implant this cycle, and a couple more  ice-siblings for our little one, down the road.

Feeling much gratitude, right now...

A Birthday Trip

My sister J will be celebrating her birthday next Thursday, less than a week before the expected egg retrieval. Because we'll practically be attached at the hip (so I can give her medications), I promised to do something special for her on her birthday. We are taking the Amtrak down to San Diego for the day. That keeps me from driving more than I have to, and I'll get to give her stim shots on a train...goody! I'm actually looking forward to breathing the fresh ocean air and enjoying some sun, as Southern California has had torrential rain as of late. I think a day-cation will do us both some good prior to the egg retrieval!

Things are moving fast here, and I feel like the days just fly by! J starts stims tomorrow, and has her first ovary-check next Wednesday. I had some last minute nerves when attempting to give myself the first E2V shot––there were at least two pricks prior to actual success. One day I'll be able to say to my child, "Hey, I gave myself shots in the ass, and I did it for YOU!" (not really!)

All Systems Are A Go!!

Great news is that we both received good results on our tests today. J's hormone levels and ovaries look great. My levels were good, and lining is at 7. We are all set for J to start stims this Friday!

I will give myself the first e2v injection later this evening. I teased my loving husband, a needle phobe, that I wanted him to watch...To freak him out just a little.

On another note, I am loving the nurses and staff at our fertility clinic. Whenever J and I go in––which is often these days––the nurses always seem genuinely happy to see us, and greet us with a kind word or funny joke. Someone's getting a really large box of See's Candies when this journey is through!!

Most Boring Update Ever

Still giving Lupron shots. My sister, I'll refer to her as J. from now on, is taking lupron in stride! She has had a couple mild possible effects like light cramping, and feeling "loopy". She did mention while a work yesterday doing paperwork she got so frustrated she kicked at a trash can in her cubicle ... But she said it while laughing, and hasn't complained, so I guess she's okay with it.

As for me, I've been trying to keep calm about the process. Easier said than done.

Officially Started

Today I gave my sister her first Lupron shot. We iced the area, swabbed it with alcohol, and I darted the syringe in as fast as I could. When I was done, she still had her eyes closed, in anticipation of me giving the shot. The ice worked wonders, and she didn't feel a thing! Off to a good start, I'd say...

Sister, sister!

Since the process started, my sister and I have been spending more free time together than we have in the past 10 years. For my family, this situation has brought us closer. We needed assistance expanding the family, and my sister was willing to help. Any children resulting from this will be loved in a very special way, since it took so much love (and $$!) to bring them into this world.

When my parents heard that sister agreed to do it, my Dad–a generally unemotional guy–shed tears. A few weeks into the process my sister told me how excited she was to become a "special auntie", and spoil a little one rotten!

We have only informed immediate family about my sister donating to us. My husband and I told close friends that we are doing IVF, but are keeping the timing and details of it to ourselves. Friends kept asking, "So...when are you guys going to start a family?" It's funny how simple questions like that can be hurtful when there's an infertility problem...Even when those asking have the very best intentions.

If any kids come out of this, we will tell them how they came into this world, and that story will be theirs to tell if they choose to.

I'm a pharmacy.

Picked up our medication yesterday. My eyes were huge when the pharmacist brought them out in two plastic boxes. Prior to picking up, I called in and mentioned I'd be picking up for my donor as well, which I'm sure sounded odd to the pharmacy technician! I think they even checked with my doctor to confirm that this was okay. Meh.

The image on top is my stuff, and that on the bottom is my sister's. It's daunting because I'll be performing all the injections for the both of us, since my darling husband is a needle chicken!

Complaining aside, I feel lucky to live in a time when modern medicine can treat women like me, and lead them to motherhood. Just a few years ago, none of this would have been possible...

The Calendars Say It All

I received calendars for my sister and I. Something concrete, making it more real. We have a tentative retrieval date of April 5th, 6th, or 7th, and transfer dates from April 10th-12th!

Sister starts Lupron shots a week from today, and I start Estrogen shots a week after that. Because of my Premature Ovarian Failure, I am spared the usual weeks of Lupron to suppress my cycle...lucky me?

Just looking at the calendar, I feel like once the meds start it will move very fast!

Groceries and Supermodel Mommies

So I went grocery shopping the other day at the Whole Foods in Venice, CA. Each time I go to this store, I see increasingly beautiful people, shopping for the most organic thing they can find.

This specific time, a woman caught my eye. It would have been hard to ignore her if I tried. She was strikingly beautiful–no doubt a supermodel–pushing her equally beautiful baby girl in a shopping cart. Oh, and she was wearing sky-high red Louboutin boots with metal spikes. To buy groceries. Hey, if you've got them, wear them!

This beautiful young mother looked fresh as a flower. Her baby's nanny that was tagging along? Not so much... Girl looked TIRED!

 I'm not mentioning this to disrespect the nanny, but more to comment on different styles of motherhood. All of my friends with children–some with twins– have no help and are exhausted by noon of every day.

People with greater means, or those in different countries can afford to have help with their children on a daily basis. I even have a friend from Vietnam who has four siblings. Each sibling had their OWN NANNY, and since they were monitored 24/7 with one-on-one help, each child was potty trained by 1 year old!

All types of motherhood are special, but I already know that when our little family begins to grow I will be sitting in the group that is tired by noon. I look forward to it.

Here goes nothing...

I've started this blog in an attempt to maintain a modicum of sanity throughout this donor egg/ ivf process. Let's hope it works! Wheee!

Let's get the history out of the way:

I'm 29 years old and married the love of my life in April 2010. We wanted to start a family IMMEDIATELY, but discovered I had a fibroid that should be removed before embarking on the baby journey. After losing an ovary years ago due to an emergency surgery, I was disappointed to wait (to say the least.) Last June, days after our honeymoon, I had the successful myo to remove the fibroid. Then waited two months to recover.

And waited. And waited. After stopping birth control, NOTHING HAPPENED. Two months, and no AF. After insisting on getting tested to see what was going on, I was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure. Crushed.

The doctor suggested donor eggs. Crushed again. Suggested I ask a sister, or cousin. My younger sister is afraid of needles and regularly poo-poo's motherhood and pregnancy, so that didn't seem an option. The thought of using an anonymous donor was very hard on me as I am from a mixed ethnic background, and no one, I repeat...NO ONE has the same features and ethnic make-up as my family. But I'd do an anon donor egg in a heartbeat if it would bring me a healthy child.

 This brings me to the conversation. The one where I tell my sister that the doctor said I have no eggs, and need to use an egg donor. The words "EGG DONOR" were barely out of my mouth when my sister interrupted with, "You can have my eggs! I'm not using them!" And then I think she followed with something like, "Anonymous donor, WHO?"

Funny I thought she would never consider it. People show you their true hearts when you are in real need. I also have an older half-sister. She is 45, and after I told her our younger sister would do it, she said she had previously wondered if she was still young enough to donate to me if needed. Wow...

Fast-forward to today. Pre-testing done, legal done, and everything lined up. My RE should be doing the calendars tomorrow, and she gave a ballpark retrieval date for 5 weeks from now. Seems like this might really happen, and boy am I ready!