Monday, June 6, 2011

Talking About IVF with Friends

Sunday afternoon, mon mari (my husband) and I went to a birthday party for a friend and his adorable 5 year old son. I got to chatting with another friend in attendance who had recently undergone a successful(!) IVF cycle.

She is currently 14 weeks pregnant, and it was such a joy to see her so wonderfully happy. Her infertility issues were male factor, as her husband underwent a vasectomy many years ago after having children from a previous marriage. After a failed IVF attempt late last year, she opted to do a natural cycle. My friend monitored her ovulation daily, and basically told the doctor when it was time to retrieve the egg. When the time came they performed the transfer. She said she could tell it was a take almost immediately. The best thing about the natural cycle (besides the much lower cost!) is that no hormones are required. I suppose these kind of cycles can be applied only in male factor infertility situations.

We are open with our close friends about using IVF, just not about the donor egg aspect of it. I shared my story of the first round of IVF, leaving out one very large detail! As I think I've written before, my husband, sister and I feel that outside of immediate family, no one needs to know the detail of using donor eggs except the resulting child his/herself. It will be their choice to share that information with others. I am also very vague with our IVF timeline among friends, (even though they ALWAYS ask!) as I'd like the keep any pregnancy under wraps until it's a sure thing.

My IVF friend was incredibly supportive, and sweet. The best thing about our discussion though, was the amazing glow and pleasure she had in being pregnant. I hope that will be me in a few short weeks!


  1. I'm glad your friend was so sweet and you felt so good around her. It's wonderful when people are so loving and supportive. :)

  2. It's so nice to hear you are so happy for your friend who is 14 weeks pregnant. I know it's hard sometimes to be positive around people who have achieved what you want so badly but it sounds like you were very gracious and genuinely happy for her which is lovely.

    I know what you mean about keeping things under wraps. We have told a few, select people (very close family and friends) that we are using my sister's donor eggs but other than that are keeping it quiet.

    Also my husband and I are not telling anyone whenever we do an embryo transfer. I just can't bear for people to constantly be asking if I am pregnant or not or if it has worked. It is much easier for us keeping it between ourselves, especially since our miscarriage.